ki-n-pa-ku
Let's see... before we begin, let me list all the things I "OCD" about
-blowing my nose if I feel something's blocking it
-washing myself in the shower if I use the bathroom and feel like the seat is dirty (weird I know)
-applying vaseline on my lips (or lip balm, etc) if they feel the least bit dry
-plucking the hair on my chin every day (or area above my upper lip)
-exercising if I feel I eat too much
-changing my clothes if I feel they look ugly or wrinkled or stained (I wore my favorite jeans the other day that had a slight stain and it still kinda bugged me!)
-counting the grams of fat I eat each meal
-counting the number of times I blow my nose (only sometimes I do this)
-re-applying makeup if I mess it up even a little (like by blowing my nose!
)-forgetting things (hard to explain)
There are some others but I can't think of them now. I also have a really weird phobia; get ready for this one. I'm terrified of sex. I've done it, I've enjoyed it. But I have a HUGE phobia of getting pregnant so I use so many methods of protection it's almost ridiculous. I can't take birth control pills because of my little episode with the blood clot and all, so I use about 4 other methods known to me.
Anyway that's too much info that you'd probably care not to hear. So I'm waiting for marriage! LOL...Anyway, back to my day. I was very despondent to everyone for most of the day. I felt really crummy and depressed-- like a zombie, and it was because of the stupid Wellbutrin. It's made my anxiety like MAGNIFIED 10x. So, I think I'll stop taking it and see how I feel. I need to talk to my doctor about it because it actually made me worsen. My boyfriend and I fought because I've been acting so bitchy lately (though he didn't say so; he used the word 'snippy' but I'm sure of what he meant, LOL). I hate it when I get pissed with people and when I act like a total bitch. I want to be a nice person, but it's difficult to know who I am because I put on a lot of masks.
Later on my boyfriend and I made up; I realized I shouldn't be sore with him for being clueless during the football game. He expressed to me that I was taking things too seriously and should give myself a break (my mom also said this). So I'll try to take it easy.
Sorry for all the ranting, but I just needed to get it out. I'm also having this annoying ringing sound in my ears... it's driving me crazy!!!
I love you, s-n ~!! If I were single, I'd steal you.
He-he-! I love you all!
I also love pepsi. 
edit: Here's a really cute video on YouTube (if I haven't already posted it) of a Loveless AMV.
[link]
Devious Comments
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The closer you stand to the lighthouse, the darker it gets. -Japanese proverb
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The closer you stand to the lighthouse, the darker it gets. -Japanese proverb
o.O? It's like we almost have the same phobia things. Maybe I really do have OCD also. It seems like it. I do the same things sometimes. Hmmm.
I hate when I'm bitchy too! I always end up fighting with my mom the most. Then she calls me a bitch and all this other mean stuff and I get so depressed I handle it the wrong way. I mean, a really dangerous way. And I suppose it's wrong of me to be like that, being selfish and all, but I don't know...I just...don't know.
It's weird that we feel the exact same way about things like masks and who we are....The only way to know who I am is when I am alone. And I really hate that. People don't get to see the real me. They see the sheltered me.
Oops, there I go being selfish again.
I'm still a virgin, but when I plan to "do it" (hehe...), I'll probably be freaked out about that kind of stuff too.
Urgh, I did it again, I'm talking about myself when I'm supposed to be talking about you!
Your boyfriend seems like a really nice guy and I hope he continues to be nice to you. Or else I'll have to kill him for hurting my Sivvy!
Ttyl,
s-n!
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Lesson, lesson, if you see a stranger, follow him.
I'm thrilled that we're so alike in many ways... It really makes me feel good! And, it isn't selfish to hide yourself from people--- it just means you aren't ready to let them see the "real" you. From what I've seen, the real you is a sweet, unique person. Once you are able to be comfortable with your virtues and vices, you'll feel so liberated.
A word of advice about sex: I would definitely recommend waiting for it. I made the mistake of not waiting and ... well, my mental state pretty much describes the consequences. I'm an example! THIS IS WHAT YOU COULD TURN INTO!!! *points at Cap'n Siv* AHHH!! HORRIBLE!! LOL
I was lucky to escape with no consequences, but I'm not risking it again.
My boyfriend is very nice. He doesn't care that I'm ...well, bi.
sometimes I can even get him to check guys out with me!
OMG... what you said here--- "I'm talking about myself when I'm supposed to be talking about you!" ---- that is SOOOO what I'm always thinking.
Kisu~!
c-siv
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Wow, I guess we are A lot more alike than I thought. Yeah, fighting IS part of a relationship, just not all the time though. Like my brother and his ex, my moma dn my dad.....they won't shut up.
I just got out of a relationship not too long ago. I didn't really classify it as a relationship though. The guy was a total jerk. Never once called me or anything. We chatted on the net sometimes, but...and I had to ask HIM to the dance. Wtf is that?Grrr, now I want to smash something!
Aww....I'm sweet and unique~! Well, you're.....you're....AWESOME!!
much love gurly.
S-n!
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Lesson, lesson, if you see a stranger, follow him.
s-n is much more awesome than sivvy.
And yeah, some guys can take a LONG time to really mature...
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